I debated a lot whether to post details of Zeke's birth. Don't get me wrong, there was nothing abnormal about it. But I just wasn't sure if I wanted it immortalized on the internet. But after lots of pondering I decided that since I have weeks of belly pictures along with updates on my pregnancy that it only seemed normal. Plus it'll always be here for me to reference back to. I'm writing this story mostly for me. I don't want to forget the events that transpired which brought this amazing love of mine into our world.
So before you start reading let me just warn you...I will be completely honest in my story and tell all. Maybe you'll be grossed out, or think this is inappropriate, but that's not my intention. Please save any hurtful comments to yourself. Also should you have any questions then ask away. I'm an open book. I also am super detail oriented. So I'm gonna type everything that stands out to me. Sorry if it drags on!!
Before starting the actual birth story, I need to give a few background details. I feel like these add to the story and I find myself remembering these things better than the actual birth some days.
First: I'd known for a long time that I wanted a natural childbirth. By natural I mean no epidural. Some people consider natural to mean out of your hoo-ha the way our bodies were designed to, but I've always known it to mean not only that, but drug free.
Second: On Monday the 12th I had started a new position in the city. While I had experienced lots of Braxton Hicks, I never thought I'd be in danger of having a baby at work. Hahaha
Third: I never grew tired of my pregnancy. I loved it until the end. I consider myself so fortunate for this! Don't get me wrong, getting up to pee 2-3 times each night, not being able to tie my shoes, and not getting to sleep on my back were all pretty annoying. But overall I loved being pregnant. I felt amazing the entire time and I still miss my belly some days.
Fourth (and final): on Friday the 16th I had my scheduled prenatal appt. Chad and I arrive and this is the first time the doctor checks me for dilation. I'm 38 weeks pregnant at this point*. He tells me that I'm already between 2-3 cm dilated and that he won't be surprised to see me in the next week. This excited me so much. He gave me a note taking me off work which I drove down right after and turned into my brand new supervisor. He was sad to lose me, but understood. I turned in my time card and turned on my auto reply on my email. Upon leaving I drove to Kristin's house where I sat in the pool with her and Karis just relaxing.
And that evening I spent with a few of my best friends having a pig out/movie/gossip fest for no reason. Please note that I was still very much loving being pregnant.
*Chad loves to share that I was a boss up till the end. My obgyn is located on the second floor and I never took the elevator. The stairs were always more convenient and I could still do them. So he was shocked when I started toward the stairs and I refused to take the elevator. (I think it's kinda rad I could still take stairs without much issue).
Now that you have the background, here's how things went down the day of. (This is already longer than I thought but hey if I haven't bored you to tears yet, then by all means keep reading!):
At about 5am I woke up with the feeling of contractions. I'd had Braxton Hicks (false contractions) since I was 20 weeks, but these felt slightly more painful. I got up and went to the bathroom to do my morning business. I got back in bed and just chalked to up to a stronger Braxton Hicks. The only problem was, they continued. After feeling them for about a half hour I decided to give up on sleeping and start timing them. At this point each contraction was around 7 minutes apart. I never took any birthing classes so I was trying to remain focused and not freak out. Chad and I had plans to watch videos on childbirth Sunday evening, but we didn't make it that far!
Around 6am my contractions were fluctuating between 5 and 7 minutes. Since some were longer I didn't think it was labor since my contractions were sometimes growing farther apart. I felt the need to go to the bathroom again so I went. For those that know me well, know how much I love taking a healthy number 2...but going in excess is never cool. Let me just say this, taking a dump while having a contraction is one of the crappiest (no pun intended) feelings. Your stomach is all tense and you're in pain so you can't focus on actually going to the bathroom. It just sucks.
A short while later I got back into bed where I found Chad awake. I sat down and was working on breathing deep with my contractions (it just seemed like the right thing to do). He asked if I was okay. I told him I was just having some contractions, no biggie. He asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. I said no because the doctor said my contractions needed to be 5 minutes apart for an hour before heading down. I continued like this for another half hour or so until once again I had to go to the bathroom. I took care of business and upon wiping I noticed that I had lost my mucus plug. It was pretty disgusting but I was really excited to see it. This meant to me that labor was on for sure.
I got back into bed and just remained sitting up and timing my contractions. What happened next us one of my favorite parts of this story. It still makes me emotional talking about it. Dexter often sleeps in our room and on our bed. The last few months he had given me space as if he knew I needed it. I'm was sitting there talking to Chad when Dexter hopped up, whined a bit and basically hugged my belly. He had a paw on each side of my stomach, rested his head on my leg, licked my hand, and stared at me. It was like he knew something was going on with me. It was the raddest feeling.
Chad had asked me a few times during this process if I wanted to go to the hospital. I kept saying no because I didn't want to get there and be told I wasn't actually in labor and be sent home. Finally at about 7:20 I told chad it was time. Between contractions I put my last minute grabs into my go bag and gave chad instructions on what to do around the house before leaving. This is one of the most comedic this to me now. At the time I was having to focus really hard to get through each contraction. But Chad, bless his heart, in all in excitement kept asking me what else we needed to do in a very hyper fashion. At one point I told him, 'I know you're excited, but I need to focus, so you need to shut the fuck up.' I wasn't mean about it, just serious! He gladly obliged after happily petting Dexter and telling him that we were gonna have a baby today! At one point we were both in the bedroom and I felt suddenly nauseous. I told Chad I was gonna puke. Sadly I only made it to the hallway before i barfed on the floor. I finished barfing in the sink, and while I brushed my teeth, chad cleaned up my mess in the hall (what a sweetheart right?!)
I'd gotten dressed, my bag was ready, Dexter was fed, so we got in the car and headed to the hospital. I'm so glad I went into labor when I did. Our hospital was 7 mile but 30 minute all street commute through construction. But since it was early on a Saturday morning (and chad was hauling ass), it only took us about 15 minutes! We parked, I waited for my contraction to finish, then we headed to labor and delivery. While having a contraction we checked in and I gave the nurses my information. I changed into a gown and told Chad to call my parents and sisters. I also told him to call work and tell them that he was now gonna take his leave. He wanted to wait for the nurses to be sure I was actually in labor (insert eye roll here) before calling. I told him that I was definitely gonna have the baby that day, and to go ahead and call. I listened to him make calls while I texted my closest friends.
At around 10:30 the doctor had called (mine wasn't working that day) and asked the nurses for an update. When they told her I was still at 7cm the doctor told them that she wanted to start me on pitosin. When my nurse told me this she reminded me that I have the right to say no, and I did! I knew if I had pitosin I'd need an epidural and I didn't want to risk it.
The doctor finally arrived at noon and I was still at 7 cm. She told me she wanted to break my water and give me pitosin. I refused and told her that I wanted a natural birth. She told me she understood but she didn't want me to get to the point where I needed an emergency c section. I was firm and asked if she could break my water first and then go from there. She obliged and said she'd check on me in an hour.
The next 20 minutes was a hell I never imagined. It turned out breaking my water was the key to moving me closer to delivery. By 12:30 I was crying to Chad that I couldn't handle it anymore. Why I wanted to go natural was beyond me. I was ready to bring on the epidural!! Chad assured me that I had nothing to prove and that I'd done so well. I pressed my button and cried to the nurse that I was ready for my epidural. My nurse came in and talked my down. She checked me and I was now 9cm. She told me that she could call the anesthesiologist but by the time he would get there I'd be pushing. My epidural window had closed. That's what I wanted but I was regretting it at that moment. The nurse told me to use my breathing techniques I learned in my birthing class...the trouble was I never took one. She was so sweet that she gave me and Chad a crash course in Lamaze. With the tips she gave me I was able to make it to delivery!
As my contractions increased I started feeling the need to push, so the nurse told me to go ahead! With each contraction I'd push a bit to get Zeke to move down. As this point Zeke decided it was a great time to turn over! So along with insane contractions, the nurse was telling me to turn from one side to the other in order to get him to turn back the right way. But I was in so much pain that I didn't even know how to move my body anymore. Through all of this Chad was amazing and was counting for me with each contraction I had. I wouldn't have been able to get through the process without his help! Thanks to him and my amazing nurses I managed to push through all the pain, get to 10cm and get him flipped back where he belonged!!! My doctor came back in about 2 and we were ready for delivery!
I scooted down and they instructed me to hold onto the backs of my knees and pull on them as I pushed. They also instructed me to 'push from my bottom.' The delivery was the least painful, but the most difficult. Imagine running a marathon, and then having to sprint home afterward. To me that's the best comparison I can make to labor and delivery. I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed. I was getting exhausted. Chad and the nurses were all doing their best to keep me motivated, but with each push, he would come out and then go back in just a bit. I apologized to the doctor and nurses because he hadn't come out yet. I felt like I was letting them all down! In order to give me a boost one of the nurses told me to look down so I could see his head. But I looked down and all I could see was my gown! So she said, 'if you feel comfortable, reach your hand down and you will feel his head.' So sure enough I felt the top of his head!!! It was the craziest thing I ever experienced. It gave me a HUGE boost to keep pushing, but even with a few more pushes he was still not budging. Finally the doctor said that she wanted to give me a little cut in order to make things easier. I said do it!! All I could think to myself was that I was so exhausted and wouldn't be able to push much more. So without hesitation she gave me an episiotomy. And holy shit that hurt sooo bad!! I didn't get any type of anesthesia beforehand so naturally I screamed. Hahahahaha! I was that person in the hospital. I even apologized for screaming. But that cut was the thing I needed because 2 pushes later, Zeke came out!!
After the weighing, measuring, cleaning, diapering, and the delivery of the placenta (holy crap a whole other world of pain) they gave me my boy. It was the most surreal feeling I'd ever experienced. This little life, that had grown inside my body, was now sitting on my chest. I couldn't believe the experience that I had just gone through and the way my body was shaking from the adrenaline running through me...but it is the most amazing thing I've done in my life.
I've had people ask me now if I would do anything differently, and I say no. I would go natural again in a heartbeat. Because I went natural, I was able to walk to my recovery room, I was able to be up and about easier than I thought. Not only that but Zeke was so alert and awake during the first part of his life. I am so blessed and I can't believe I am lucky enough to call this beautiful child my own.
